Significance, Paranoia, and “Not Being a Bitch”
Enjoy life by living in the moment while managing the downsides
In order to be respectful to my readers, I feel like I need to describe what I mean by “being a bitch.” Lets define being a bitch: it is a derogatory term for being cowardly, subordinate, or weak.
Living in the Moment & Significance
“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” — Marcus Aurelius
Living in the moment can have many meanings to different people. It could be experiencing some level of excitement, being spontaneously ingenious, suspending all judgement to see things differently, becoming focused and in “the zone,” etc. The common theme between these experiences is significance.
There are many ways that people might go about living in the moment. Maybe you want the ability to manifest what you want with the law-of-attraction or maybe with God’s grace or maybe you want to fake-it-till-you-make-it. Whatever the method, there is some way to search for meaning outside of yourself.
“We need only in cold blood ACT as if the thing in question were real, and keep acting as if it were real, and it will infallibly end by growing into such a connection with our life that it will become real.” — William James
Living in the moment can produce a sensation of significance in, otherwise, ordinary things and also potentially negative things. In some ways, this sensation can lead to a more full experience of life. Interestingly, this self-inspired significance can make other people feel more at ease around you as it could make you easier to read and interact with. Every person and animal emits a vibration that can be read. In some sense, by living in the moment, you are trusting yourself, the people around you, and the world to provide you with outcomes that are in accordance with nature.
Karma and Hell
“If you are going through hell, keep going. You might get out before the devil realizes you are there.” — Unknown
In India, karma is often seen as a form of moral law of cause and effect. There is an idea that you can liberate yourself if you can perform actions without being attached to the results. The Taoist approach to karma emphasizes the idea of liberation by intelligence rather than effort, i.e., that there a spontaneous and effortless way to transcend karmic cycles without premeditation. Another way to look at it is seeing outward declarations, of what you are going to do, even to yourself, as telling the devil, who will tempt you in the other direction. By being spontaneous, you skip over that mental tax and stay in a flow state.
Trust in the Moment
“The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. The farther your run, the more God wants you back.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
Steve-O, a professional idiot, is an interesting anomaly. Reasonably speaking, someone with self-destructive, attention seeking behavior should have a hard time becoming successful. Even though there were points in Steve-O’s life where it might have seemed impossible for him to realize his dream of being a jackass, he still managed to achieve his dream. It is possible that he became successful because he was able to coordinate and execute his plans with a strong, maybe irrational, sense that he couldbe successful. He had a high tolerance for failure and continued perfecting his craft under a simple rule: will this help me be rad?.
Taking a complicated strategy can make adapting to unexpected events harder. This is especially true when we are uncertain of the outcome, have many potential alternatives, and/or do not have enough information to make informed decisions. If we keep our risk-taking approaches simple, we can make better sense of our mistakes and resulting outcomes.
You could leverage the collective intelligence of the whole population by going with the most popular advice or option. It is the power of the democratic process, and, perhaps, it is the natural decision. In the same vein, you can fear what other people fear, for the same instinctual reason. This is similar to Steve-O’s strategy for navigating his risk-taking lifestyle. Another example might be choosing which stocks to put your life savings into. It might be saferto invest in stocks that are popular.
We also have intuitions, or gut-feelings, that work on a subconscious level. In a way, our gut-feelings use the full power of our brains without us being conscience of it. An example of trusting yourself could be living by “what makes you feel good” or believing that “stupid is stupid does” In some sense, if we follow our intuition and we are “wrong,” then it might not even matter if the outcome is bad. That is to say, even if we do NOT follow our intuition and the outcome is good, we lose the ability to trust ourselves, and we will surely mess up later on. It would be far better to trust yourself, mess up, and try to improve your intuition.
Paranoia & “Being a Bitch”
While living in the moment, it might be possible to put too much significance into something that is not beneficial to you. For example, you might have developed some expectation for how living in the moment should work out for you. While developing expectations is natural, it can create a conflict with the nature of how you were living in the moment. There can be some insidiously dark psychological effects for when you need to, or are forced to, “step out of the moment.” Imagine having a metaphorical, although personally significant, rug being pulled out from under you. Now, you are no longer in the moment, and you have the potential to feel anxiety, confusion, and paranoia.
“The real meaning of the word paranoia is — a man or person who has the ability to link events that seemingly are not connected.” — John Coleman
Essentially paranoia is some kind of flaw in how we imagine, think, and/or understand real-world events and situations. Let’s explore some different kinds of paranoia!
- Delusions– maintaining false beliefs that cannot be corrected by logic.
- Hallucinations– false sensory perceptions without external stimulus, only existing in one’s mind.
- Illusions– misperceptions or misinterpretations of external stimulus.
It makes sense that having a fleeting sense of belief, perception, or interpretation of the what is significant while “in the moment” could be viewed as some sort of paranoia. So why not just stay in the moment all the time? There are legitimate reasons to “step out of the moment.” For example, we might have other responsibilities or expectations that require forward planning, and where our “gut-feelings” might not be adequate enough to handle making these decisions.
However, having negative experiences does not lead to unhappiness. In fact, negative experiences are essential to happiness because it allows us to adjust our intuitions, make better judgements, appreciate the positivity, and have hope for the future. It was found from people who have been tortured, that initially, people are dive into incredible despair. But, eventually, they become somewhat masochists. When pain loses meaning, it becomes an experience and turns into some kind of positive feeling. Pain is an interpreted perspective, and if you don’t see it as meaningful, it loses its negative power.
Live in the Moment Without Being a Bitch
Knowing what you have control of and what you don’t is tricky business. However, you do not want a false certainty in what you can control. A good rule of thumb is that you cannot control anything outside of your own actions, i.e., you cannot control outcomes or what people think. But, ultimately, what you “think” you can control depends on your confidence.
Try to be confident, and believe you are doing the right things, even if things don’t seem to be working out, but be wary of becoming overconfident. It is important to remember that your intuition or gut feels could be wrong, and you should be open to change. Having some flexibility in your mindset can help manage the unexpected outcomes that pop up.
By living in the moment, you can be clever and come up with ideas and goals that will manifest positive thinking. You could take a chance on reaching out to people who might be able to help you. Try to think of doing something nice and meaningful for other people to open up possibilities. You could also think of the things you’ve started and completed which can lead to sense of accomplishment which can, in turn, lead to new ideas, and goals. Focusing on one thing at a time can improve your effectiveness and decrease the amount of time it takes to complete a task. In addition, you will feel good about checking off one more thing off your list.
